Tell more than two people that you’ve chosen to homeschool, and you’ll have gotten at least one uncomfortable, “Oh…” Why? Because homeschooling is weird. And homeschoolers are weird. But, if we take the time to breakdown the things that make homeschoolers socially abnormal, we might find that these things aren’t so weird after all. 

#1 They choose to spend the entire day with their kids when cultural norms advocate for parents and children to spend at least eight hours apart each week day.

It’s true that my children and I are generally together 24 hours a day and this terrified me when we first considered homeschooling. The reality is, I get to spend the best part of my kids’ days with them. (Note: this is NOT early in the morning when they are rushing off to the bus or 4 pm (or later) once they are home and tired from the day.) I am here to hear every scream and unkind word, which is super annoying some days; but I’m also here to observe every kindness and watch my kids’ relationships grow with each other.

#2 They presume to “teach” even without a formal teaching degree, some without a degree at all.

This was a biggie for me at first. My degree is in marketing communications and my skillset doesn’t obviously dovetail with an educational pursuit. But, I know my children. I know their strengths and how to play to them; and I know their weaknesses and how to help them overcome them. I can tell immediately if they’re not “getting” something and I can alter my teaching or our schedule to slow down until they do because I don’t have 30 other kids to focus on.

#3 They prevent their children from spending hours each day with a peer group of their same age, thereby limiting access to friends.

When was the last time you spent the day with people who were exactly the same age as you? Probably the day you graduated high school. If you think about it, the educational system is really the only system by which people are forced to interact with only those of the same age. I would rather have my kids accustomed to living, working, learning and growing with people of all ages. (And, for what it’s worth, they spend plenty of time with kids their own age through sports and scouting.)

#4 They shelter their children by controlling the information to which they have access.

Yes, I control the information to which my kids have access. And you should too.

#5 They teach from a limited worldview, usually Christian, which leaves their children unprepared to live and work with those who share different values.

Just as there is no such thing as an unbiased opinion, every time we communicate we are doing so from our own personal worldview. I teach my children from a Christian worldview and I have had to pause many times during our schooling, usually during science, to compare and contrast our worldviews and those of the author’s. But, that’s ok. I always seek to do so in a respectful way and use it as an opportunity to teach my kids that everyone doesn’t share the same worldview. I certainly want to raise my children to be respectful of differences, but that in no way means that we should bend our values because they differ with another’s. Values that ebb and flow with societal shifts are, in many ways, not values at all.

#6 Their children are un-socialized and therefore usually socially-awkward.

The homeschoolers I know, including my own, are not un-socialized. Believe it or not, we watch TV (like PBS, Disney and Nickelodean shows – for reals) and get out into the world a lot through sports, church, scouting and just because we’re not hermits. If you see a homeschooler and think he or she is acting socially-awkward, I would look to clarify are they actually awkward, as in, missing basic social cues, or is what you interpret as “awkward” really their heightened comfort level in talking with you, a grown up. (See point #3.) Another possibility is that the child in question is actually awkward and would be even if they were public schooled. I am terribly awkward and I was public schooled. It’s just who I am.

#7 Because their school days are unmonitored, parents can force their children into unhealthy schedules, either pushing their kids too much academically or allowing children to slack off.

The homeschoolers I know are at least peripherally worried about their kids being seen as weird, so they work diligently to achieve a socially acceptable academic schedule. That said, homeschooling affords families so much flexibility that those kids who are uber-interested in a topic, whether engineering, botany, piano, woodworking, etc, can easily devote extra time to said topic and grow their given giftings. This can sometimes be seen as “pushing” a child, when really it’s the child’s choice to immerse themselves in a given area. On the flip side, some homeschoolers may choose to pursue less book work, which can look to some like “slacking,” when really it’s just children being taught more through experiences, living and doing than by traditional textbooks. Those in the biz, call this “unschooling” – and like tiny houses, I’m kind of fascinated by people who do it. (But I digress…)

#8 Homeschool families “cheat” on tests and skew their children’s grades in order to make their children look smarter.

This is really a matter of personal integrity and I have never encountered evidence of any homeschoolers doing this. But, my own sister actually asked me something to this effect the first year I homeschooled my son and administered his standardized test. Um no; we didn’t cheat; but thanks for keeping it real. I guess.

#9 Homeschooling shelters kids from “the real world” and results in culture shock when they are inevitably thrown into it.

I used to think this myself and believe it’s a pretty common opinion of non-homeschoolers. But, here’s the deal. The real world is so broken that it’s, in many ways, unrecognizable from “the real world” I grew up in 20-some years ago. What others may see as “sheltering,” I see as protecting my children from the very real dangers of a world that gets scarier by the day. By focusing on matters of character and faith today, I am equipping them for their tomorrows in the real world, where they can hopefully bring their own restoration to this wounded and hurting planet.

#10 Homeschool moms wear long denim skirts, usually paired with clunky, white tennis shoes.

I have observed this particular sect of homeschoolers in their natural habitat (e.g. our state’s annual homeschool convention) and it does seem a bold fashion choice for 2017. As homeschoolers, we’re just really used to doing things our own way and sometimes that translates into dressing in ways that others view as weird or outdated. But hey, in a world where some still choose to wear their jeans belted down at their knees, undergarments count as shirts, and men rock skinny jeans, I think I’ll take a long, denim skirt any day.