We are in week four of My Father’s World kindergarten curriculum, Creation from A to Z, so today my six-year-old (the kindergartener) and three-year-old (the boy who wishes he was the kindergartener) snuggled in to read Little Bear by Else Holmelund Minarik. The illustrations give this book away as a vintage read, but Mother Bear’s words were what struck me the most in defining the era during which this book was created.
At one point, Little Bear, is daydreaming of flying to the moon. Mother Bear quickly brings him back to earth by telling him, “You can’t fly.” When he presses on with the fact that birds can fly, she again redirects his dream. “You are not a bird.” Finally, she admonishes Little Bear with, “You are a little fat bear cub with no wings and no feathers. Maybe if you jump up you will come down very fast with a big plop.” (Harsh.)
As the story progresses, Little Bear goes on his make-believe way and eventually his mother plays along and pretends he is a bear from outer space. But sheesh – her words were still ringing in my ears.
In another part of the story, Little Bear can’t fall asleep because he’s busy thinking of wishes. When Mother Bear asks what he’s wishing for, he first says he wishes he could fly around on a cloud. “You can’t have that wish, my Little Bear,” she says. Then he wishes he could sail away on a Viking boat and again Mother Bear tells him, “You can’t have that wish, my Little Bear.” He proceeds to share a few more wishes with his mom, who each time tells him that he “can’t have that wish.” Finally, he shoots low and scores with a wish for his mom to tell him a story about himself. She obliges.
Now, Mother Bear does plenty of nurturing things to Little Bear throughout the story, like making him winter clothes and a lovely birthday cake. But wow – she also body shames the little guy by telling him he’s too fat to fly and then she blows holes in a bunch of his dreams by telling him that he’s simply not allowed to think that way!
The book was written in 1957 and yes, from what I know of my grandparents, this book would ring very true to the parent-child relationship back then. But 60 years later? To clarify, I am not saying this is a bad book. I actually love that My Father’s World includes books from many different eras in its curriculum packages, and my kids loved it. It just got me thinking about how parents today communicate with our children versus parents from decades prior.
In 2017, don’t we want to prepare our children to have fulfilling, productive, God-honoring lives? But how? There is something to be said for realism and certainly some parents today may take the “you can be anything you want” mantra way too far. But, isn’t it ok to let your children dream big dreams? My three-year-old maintains that he is going to be a frog when he grows up. I figure he will realize soon enough there is a species-based issue he just can’t overcome. I think the world will swoop in soon enough to tell our kids they are too fat to fly and that they simply “can’t have that wish.” I believe it’s up to us as parents to find the balance between building our children up and empowering them to greatness without blowing smoke and turning out perpetual dreamers who aimlessly drift through life.
So, what’s your take? Does Mother Bear bring a much-needed dose of reality to childhood, or is she a discouragement to tomorrow’s next big achiever?
