When you think of weird homeschoolers, you probably think of denim dresses, conversion vans and lots of lots of children. While most of these stereotypes don’t ring true across the board, it’s true that many of the homeschooling families I know would be considered “large families” by the general population. That, coupled with the fact that the early school-age years tend to overlap with our best child-bearing years, means that most homeschooling moms have taught their children while simultaneously growing another. Unlike most of the things we grow while homeschooling, your little miracle isn’t placed on a shelf only to undergo obligatory observation for 30 seconds each day. You carry this one around with you everywhere you go. And while your heart soars with each little wiggle and kick, this one leaves you exhausted, overwhelmed, hormonal and basically ill-equipped to successfully complete even the most minor of your daily tasks.

I have confessed to you before that this homeschooling year has been difficult for us, as we’ve struggled with motivation, attitudes and keeping to an overall schedule. One of the main reasons for this is that I am currently pregnant with our fifth child, while homeschooling three others and running (well, waddling) after a three-and-a-half year old. You guys, I am so. exhausted. And, I’ve read many of your social media posts and advice requests and know that you are too. Homeschooling is hard. Pregnancy is hard. Put them together and you have a savory recipe for exhaustion-induced burnout with a side of hormonal short-temperdness and a dollop of tearful defeat.

I have 10 weeks to go on this journey and have somewhat made my peace with the fact that this is not going to be a year when we triumphantly cross the finish line into summer. No, this year we will crawl, scratch and drag our weary bodies over the finish line only to land in a sweaty, spent pile on the other side. There will be no victory dance, no pats on the back. I suspect my kids and I will simply get up, lock eyes for a moment, and then silently part ways, knowing that it’s better to just move on then relive the failures and joyless follies of the previous nine months.

If I had to do it all over again, here’s the advice I would give to the much less pregnant me; and advice I hope can encourage you as well.

#1 PLAN EARLY FOR SCHEDULE CHANGES

All pregnancies are different, but it’s pretty much guaranteed that, at some point, you will find yourself, and your homeschool, negatively impacted in some way. You’ll be nauseous, tired, overwhelmed, and the daily tasks associated with running your school will be impacted. Do your third-trimester self a favor and modify your schedule early on. Eliminate unnecessary tasks. Be realistic. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst when it comes to your energy level.

#2 INCORPORATE WAYS FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO WORK MORE INDEPENDENTLY

As kids get older, we know we should do our best to get them to work more and more independently, but even younger kids can benefit from doing some simple school-related tasks on their own. Getting kids to work more independently now can be especially helpful after the baby is born and you need to break for nursing, diaper changes, etc.

For younger kids consider having them work on these items alone and then sharing a “ta da!” moment with mom when they’re complete:

• Coloring pages
• Daily penmanship practice (assuming the letter has already been introduced)
• Repetitive worksheets (those done every day or week)

Older kids are often capable of doing much on their own:

• Math (if it’s not a new concept)
• Reading and comprehension exercises
• Science reading
• Geography map work

And, don’t forget that older kids can often be very helpful with younger siblings. Do you have a “Mini or Mr. Mom” in your flock? I bet she or he would love the chance to read to their younger sibs, or even lead them in a worksheet or two.

If you’re used to a significant amount of oversight with your kids’ daily work, ease into independence by identifying one or two subjects they can tackle on their own and just see how it goes. Like most things, it will probably get easier with time.

#3 CREATE SMALL DAILY OR WEEKLY GOALS 

When you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you’ve lost control – from your homeschool to your own bladder – the smallest victories can really lift your spirits. So, set some small daily or weekly benchmarks that can help you feel accomplished and more in control. For example, we will not skip our Friday spelling test; we will begin school by x-time each day this week; I will create a meal plan for the coming week to make dinner less of a hassle, etc.

#4 RELY MORE HEAVILY ON READ-ALOUDS

Read-alouds are always your friend, but especially now. They are great for kids of any age, truly do enhance learning, and permit you a guilt-free opportunity to sit with your feet up in a comfortable chair while still “doing school.” Consider doubling down on read-alouds in place of other reading related activities.

#5 GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE

As always, mommas, give yourself some grace. You are literally growing a human while caring for a passel of others. Homeschooling can be an exhausting endeavor when you’re not sharing your body with someone else. There are some days that will just. not. happen. And, that’s more than ok. Take a break when you need to and know that learning will still happen. Take out the Legos, find a biography on Netflix of a special person in history, or just let the kids have a free day while you rest. Everything will be different for the next forty weeks (not to mention after!), so it doesn’t do us any good to pretend everything is business as usual. Give yourself some grace and know that you are doing the very best you can. And, that’s all any of us can do.